Daily comedy for developers, founders, and anyone who needs a laugh
My code doesn't have bugs...
All The Jokes
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...
Can I join you?
Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache
What's the difference between a well-dressed programmer and an unshaven one?
The well-dressed one is wearing clothes. The unshaven one... is also wearing clothes.
Why do Java developers wear glasses?
Because they can't C#
A programmer's wife tells him: 'Go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.' He comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
Because they had eggs.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem
Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high...
She looked surprised
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field
I've been reading the news about this new strain of bacteria...
It's resistant to people who are being negative about it
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance...
We'll see about that
I have a joke about trickle-down economics...
But 99% of you will never get it
What's the difference between a introverted programmer and an extroverted one?
The extroverted one looks at YOUR shoes instead of his own
Why do startups love the letter 'S'?
Because S stands for Series A, B, C... all the way to Z where they run out of money
My code works...
I have no idea why
Why did the developer get stuck on the toilet?
Because the CAPTCHA was asking to select all images with crosswalks and they couldn't get off
What's a programmer's favorite place?
The Stack Overflow
I asked my dog what's twice twice. He said 4.
He's a smart dog but not great at math
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up
My code doesn't have bugs...
It just develops unexpected features
Why did the startup founder bring a ladder to the board meeting?
Because they heard the equity was on a higher level
What's a developer's favorite type of music?
Algo-rhythm
Why do VCs always carry a notebook?
To write down all the ideas they're too scared to fund
I told my startup it needed more work-life balance...
It pivoted to a lifestyle business and fired me
Why did the startup founder bring a mirror to the pitch meeting?
To show the VC their own reflection asking for money
What's the difference between a founder and a guy with a business idea?
About $2 million in seed funding and a Medium blog
Why do VCs love AI startups?
Because finally they can automate the part where they say 'no'
How many founders does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but they'll need three advisors, two co-founders they met at a hackathon, and a pivot
Why did the founder's wife leave him?
Because for once, something else came before the company
My startup failed and I had to move back in with my parents...
Now I'm a 'full-stack developer' living in their basement
What's a VC's favorite game?
Hot potato - with your money
Why do programmers hate nature?
Too many bugs
I asked ChatGPT to write a joke...
It said 'As an AI, I don't have personal experiences but here's a joke...' and then charged me $20/month for the privilege
Why did the AI cross the road?
To optimize the crossing function and maximize chicken throughput
Why do all startup pitch decks start with 'Uber for X'?
Because 'Actually Solving a Problem' doesn't fit on a slide
What's the difference between a junior developer and a senior developer?
The senior one knows which Stack Overflow answers to trust
I told my cofounder we should split equity 50/50...
Now I'm writing this from my car while he 'runs the company' from his bedroom
Why do startup founders love KPI dashboards?
Because they finally have something to show investors that isn't just 'we pivoted again'
What's the difference between a coffee addict and a startup founder?
The coffee addict needs coffee to function. The founder needs funding.
Why did the startup founder take a job at a big company?
He finally found a place where 'disrupting' meant following the rules
Why do startup founders love talking about leverage?
Because they have never actually had any
What is a developer's favorite kind of party?
A function — they love returns
Why did the startup founder go to therapy?
To work on his founder issues — apparently delusion is now a diagnosis
Why do VCs always ask about your TAM?
Because they need to justify the check size to someone
What do you call a developer who never makes typos?
A liar — we all commit bugs at 2am
Why did the junior developer break up with the senior developer?
Too many code reviews — the relationship had no runtime
Why do investors love unicorns?
Because they've never met one in real life
What did the AI say to the startup founder?
I'll replace you — but nice pitch deck though
Why are indie hackers like ninjas?
Silent, deadly, and they work alone in the dark with energy drinks
Why do startup founders love stand-up meetings?
It's the only time their board actually stands behind them
What's the difference between a startup and a cult?
The cult knows it's a cult — startups think they're changing the world
Why did the CTO go to therapy?
To deal with the trauma of shipping v1 on a Friday
Why do startup founders love showing off their burn rate?
Because it's the only number that's going up
What's the difference between a startup and a tragedy?
The tragedy eventually ends
Why did the product owner bring a ladder to the sprint planning?
Because the stories were too tall
Why do VCs love SaaS startups?
Because recurring revenue is easier to model than recurring genius
How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None — that's a hardware problem
Why did the startup founder bring a mirror to the board meeting?
To reflect on the burn rate